Yesterday, I held a baby dolphin in my arms. His heart beat through his solid, smooth chest wall, against my hands and body.
I put my arms around him completely, (he was that tiny), wrapping him up in the greatest support I could offer: my true love for his species and the desire to give back, to hold him up with the same love that has held me and helped me so. Gently, with undying strength and grace.
2.3.12
05.10.00
I've spent my whole conscious life
peering curiously
underneath the hood
of my head
Where I live with a "What the hell?" and a "Who in God's name am I?"
cursing
my pouty pink lips
But simultaneously begging:
Please don't let the truth into this hole that asks for it
For it will strip me to the nuts
and bolts, leaving only bare parts
A seat for itself to sit in
and drive me around
peering curiously
underneath the hood
of my head
Where I live with a "What the hell?" and a "Who in God's name am I?"
cursing
my pouty pink lips
But simultaneously begging:
Please don't let the truth into this hole that asks for it
For it will strip me to the nuts
and bolts, leaving only bare parts
A seat for itself to sit in
and drive me around
Imagine That
Imagine that...
If, instead of talking all the time
about how this population of panthers, that population of rare birds, blue whales - the most giant of all creatures ever to exist -
are declining,
dwindling, disintegrating, disappearing
We talked about how there was this explosive rebirth happening in the natural world,
With the human hand finally kept humbly and rightfully at its side, or in its pocket,
The brilliant resurgence of some untouched feeling that would give us, creatures of nature every one, an entirely new hope...
That hope which still survives in the newborn.
If, instead of talking all the time
about how this population of panthers, that population of rare birds, blue whales - the most giant of all creatures ever to exist -
are declining,
dwindling, disintegrating, disappearing
We talked about how there was this explosive rebirth happening in the natural world,
With the human hand finally kept humbly and rightfully at its side, or in its pocket,
The brilliant resurgence of some untouched feeling that would give us, creatures of nature every one, an entirely new hope...
That hope which still survives in the newborn.
WHALES ARE:
Giant, but gentle.
Hunted, but trusting.
Exploited, but forgiving.
Aware, but peaceful.
Intelligent, but devoid of ego. Victimized, but heroic.
Captive, but free.
ENLIGHTENED.
Hunted, but trusting.
Exploited, but forgiving.
Aware, but peaceful.
Intelligent, but devoid of ego. Victimized, but heroic.
Captive, but free.
ENLIGHTENED.
The Science of (My) Mind
I may not be a published author, an accredited institution, a respected ethicist, an authority figure, a professor of evolution or biology or consciousness studies or dream interpretation. But I stand firmly on the platform of my own voice. My argument for empirical truth is the life I live. My experience is all the proof I need.
11.17.99 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD.
Dad,
As this time of year approaches yet again, and you check in the mirror for any new evidence of time's continued passage across your skin, I encourage you to think of a few things:
You were once a little boy. You grew up, became a father, then watched as your little girls became older daughters. Now that we are all grown up, you get to become the kid in you again. It's how nature works! It's how the Earth turns and turns again. And I think, aren't we lucky to be a part of it all.
Your love, wisdom, and great understanding of beauty and joy are timeless. I consider your fatherhood the greatest gift on every birthday, yours or mine.
I see your influence in the reflection of my own changing expression as I mature and grow. I learn more with every year that passes, how much a part of me you are; and how much a part of you I am; and how much more we become one another as time moves through us.
I am proud and honored to know that we are "made of the same stuff". I love you endlessly. Have a wonderful birthday! Love, Liz
As this time of year approaches yet again, and you check in the mirror for any new evidence of time's continued passage across your skin, I encourage you to think of a few things:
You were once a little boy. You grew up, became a father, then watched as your little girls became older daughters. Now that we are all grown up, you get to become the kid in you again. It's how nature works! It's how the Earth turns and turns again. And I think, aren't we lucky to be a part of it all.
Your love, wisdom, and great understanding of beauty and joy are timeless. I consider your fatherhood the greatest gift on every birthday, yours or mine.
I see your influence in the reflection of my own changing expression as I mature and grow. I learn more with every year that passes, how much a part of me you are; and how much a part of you I am; and how much more we become one another as time moves through us.
I am proud and honored to know that we are "made of the same stuff". I love you endlessly. Have a wonderful birthday! Love, Liz
11.11.99
I dreamt last night, again, about the moon. Tina and I had the ability to jump up off of the dock over the ocean and under a night sky, and grab the moon (which, in our hands, came to look and feel like a block of white cheese). We would then give it to the "natives" that lived in the area, who were amazed. We would take turns throwing it into the water, very excitedly, then noting that even as we threw it into the sea, it still hung in the sky. Remembrance of Tina and I swimming crazily underwater, like mad fish. We were happy and reckless - in and of ourselves, and in our relationship to each other.
11.05.99
I love you with the power of my faith in God.
I love the purity and depth of your soul.
I love you for your eternal struggle.
I love you without pretense.
I love you with all of me.
I love in the name of except and forgiveness.
I love you in spite of our hearts being broken.
I love you in spite of our world that's been shattered.
I love you and trust in your love for me.
But my faith cannot heal you.
My trust cannot hold you.
My love cannot save you
From whatever darkness it is
that tells you I hate you.
I love the purity and depth of your soul.
I love you for your eternal struggle.
I love you without pretense.
I love you with all of me.
I love in the name of except and forgiveness.
I love you in spite of our hearts being broken.
I love you in spite of our world that's been shattered.
I love you and trust in your love for me.
But my faith cannot heal you.
My trust cannot hold you.
My love cannot save you
From whatever darkness it is
that tells you I hate you.
Impossible
Always entrenched in
Impossible extremes
Stifled was she in the
Pursuit of her dreams
Neither in night nor in day
Was she allowed rest or play
For what she longed for was always
Simply too far away
But in accepting the gift
Of a darkness beyond night
To her heart's desired world
she finally could take flight
And so by surrendering
To her own inner-fight
She landed within reach
Of the moon and its light
Impossible extremes
Stifled was she in the
Pursuit of her dreams
Neither in night nor in day
Was she allowed rest or play
For what she longed for was always
Simply too far away
But in accepting the gift
Of a darkness beyond night
To her heart's desired world
she finally could take flight
And so by surrendering
To her own inner-fight
She landed within reach
Of the moon and its light
We Needed God in Our Lives, to Keep Us Honorable
The sexual frustration was so thick it began to make my arteries feel clogged. My wife and I knew there had to be something beyond the day to day monotony that plagued us at midlife. I had considered affairs, several times. I have had opportunities as well but always, as they presented themselves, I enforced the law self-control because I'm a man of honor. But dammit, honor is a tough gig to perform forever and at all times, especially when you've never been allowed to know the thrill of dishonor.
Hedonism chased my brain over the speedways as I drove forward; bumpy railroads built the tracks along which my thoughts scattered, drunk on their own evil juices. Through mountains, my recurring dream of passion whiplashed its snake tail over the edges of cliffs; green seas awaited. So far away, but everywhere.
A horn sounded behind our grey sedan. I jerked back into the present and hot coffee dripped on my bare calf. "Shit", I muttered, tired and scalded by reality that Sunday morning. I drove through the light into the church parking lot and thought to myself, Dear God, are YOU a happy Man?
Hedonism chased my brain over the speedways as I drove forward; bumpy railroads built the tracks along which my thoughts scattered, drunk on their own evil juices. Through mountains, my recurring dream of passion whiplashed its snake tail over the edges of cliffs; green seas awaited. So far away, but everywhere.
A horn sounded behind our grey sedan. I jerked back into the present and hot coffee dripped on my bare calf. "Shit", I muttered, tired and scalded by reality that Sunday morning. I drove through the light into the church parking lot and thought to myself, Dear God, are YOU a happy Man?
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